Shark bites boy wearing “shark-repelling” magnetic armband

A magnetic shark-repelling armband has failed to repel a shark.

Zack Davis started surfing when he was a kid, and never had problems with sharks in that time. But he’s now recovering from a shark bite, after getting bitten for the first time while wearing his new shark repelling armband which he got for Christmas.

Now his mum wants a refund, after she asked him to wear the green band, which has magnetic technology that supposedly repels sharks.

The product, Sharkbanz, is claimed to cause an “intense” “unpleasant sensation” in sharks a meter from the swimmer, “becoming exponentially greater each inch closer.” Once they enter the magnetic field,” the Sharkbanz website promises, “they are quickly deterred.”

They claim to have tested the bands on many species of shark, but unfortunately there’s been some kind of mixup and the “research” page at the underlying tech company, Shark Defense, links to product concepts instead of peer-reviewed papers.

Some horrid cynics on the internet say it’s a scam.

In any case, they charge $100 – a one hundred American dollars – for a magnet in a rubber band.

Jaws 2017

By Peter Benchley

PART 1

Chapter 1

The great fish moved silently through the night water, propelled by short sweeps

of its crescent tail. The mouth was open just enough to permit a rush of water over the

gills. The eyes were sightless in the black, other senses transmitting nothing extraordinary to the small, primitive brain.

The woman backed up a few steps, then ran at the water. At first her strides were long

and graceful, but then a small wave crashed into her knees. She flung herself over the next waist-high wave, pushed the hair out of her eyes, and continued walking until the water covered her shoulders. There she began to swim – with the jerky, head-above-water

stroke of the untutored.

A hundred yards offshore, the fish sensed a change in the sea’s rhythm. The sweeps of its

tail quickened, thrusting the giant body forward with a speed that agitated the tiny

phosphorescent animals in the water, casting a mantle of sparks

over the fish.

It hurtled past a dozen feet to the side and six

feet below the surface. The woman felt only a wave of pressure that seemed to lift her up

in the water and ease her down again. She stopped swimming and for the first time felt fear, though she did not know why.

The fish smelled her now, and the vibrations – erratic and sharp – signaled

distress. Its dorsal fin broke water, and

its tail, thrashing back and forth, cut the glassy surface with a hiss. A series of

tremors shook its body.

Adrenaline shot through her trunk and her limbs, generating a tingling heat and urging her to swim

faster. She was fifty yards from shore. She could see the line of white

foam where the waves broke on the beach. She saw the lights in the house.

The fish was about forty feet from the woman, off to the side, when it turned

suddenly to the left, dropped entirely below the surface, and, with two quick thrusts of

its tail, was upon her.

A meter from her, however, the fish felt an intense unpleasant sensation, becoming exponentially greater with each inch. So it turned away and disappeared into the deep.

She had been saved by her Sharkbanz™ magnetic shark repelling band. She lived happily ever after.

The fish was hungry for a bit. Then it ate a seal and lived happily ever after.

THE END

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s